Blogpost # 5: Girls: The Invisible Tormentor

What comes to your mind when you encounter the word invisible? Things that cannot be seen? The Hallow Man? Ghosts? Superheroes? Something that is totally cool? Well, what I am about to tell you will make the word invisible not cool. Because I'm going to talk about bullying, bullying that is invisible, undetectable , unstoppable. This form of bullying is called the "Indirect Bullying". This takes place when a person or a group of people spread rumors or stories that will ruin someone else social standing. And it said that girls are more likely to be this kind of bully.

I've read an article entitled "How Girls Bully" by Mark Hardcastle from the site teenadvice.about.com

This article identified the difference between how boys and girls bully. Since boys and girls have their own way of playing. For example, boys at a very young age are engaged in sports like basketball, football, soccer in which sometimes feel like a requirements for them. This kind of activities helps them improve their strength and made them competitive and those kids who failed to engage in those kinds of activities are more likely to get bullied. While girls have higher possibility to just play with their doll, stuff toy and things that is not that tiring. But there are also girls who like sport. Then, as the girls get older their peer interaction become less physical and become more verbal because girls create bonds by sharing stories. Maybe stories about their family, their crush, their ambition etc. Since girls bond differently from boys it makes sense why they don't perform the same kind of bullying. Boys are more likely to be both bully and be bullied, and boys are known for the direct bullying. Examples of direct bullying would include punching, kicking, slapping, name calling, taunting, threatening any open attacks. While girls used indirect kind of bullying this include repeatedly destroying its victim's reputation by spreading rumors, creating embarrassing stories, and malicious gossip. Girls do this kind a activity behind their victims back.

"Most studies about bullying focus on boys as aggressors but girls can be bullies too and when girls bully it can be an entirely beast. When we think of bullying we tend to think of physical violence and outward taunting but when girls bully their tactic are often quiet and covert," says Mike Hardcastle

Girls bullying is hard to detect because they bully on a less obvious form and also because they work as a group who secretly spreading rumors. They can use technology for example, they can send text from any one in their school that this girl is like that and like this. So that they can exclude their victim from the group, they can make it feel like an alien from taking away its sense of belonging to the group. This type of bullying is difficult to stop because the identity of the person responsible may never be discovered.

The kind of bullying can make the victim to develop panic disorder. Once someone had this disorder and something had triggered the attack, for example when on the bus to school, at the classroom, or at the comfort room there is a chance that the victim may develop irrational fears, also known as phobias about these situations or place and start to avoid them. There are some cases where the pattern of the avoidance about another attack may reach the point which the thought of going into those places or doing those activities that cause the first attack triggers the future attack, resulting in the victim unable just to even step out of the house. Like other mental illnesses, panic disorder can have a serious impact on a person's daily life unless if the victim receives an effective treatment. Panic attack, especially on children can have a very harmful effect this will causes them not to go to school, depressions and the children are going to have a suicidal thought, plans, and there is a possibility that the victim will commit suicide.

I've read another article entitled "Teenage Bullying Among Girls in High School" by Van Thompson from the site everydaylife.globalpost.com in this article it said that there are a wide variety of reasons why girls bully, this includes peer pressure and the desire to fit in the group that's why they do social alienation to others to make sure that they can be part of the group. But,  bullies have a little sympathy for their victim because they can see themselves by looking at them because they feel insecure too, that's why they want to be in control and dominate others. According to The National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center girls who came from a "highly permissive or highly authoritarian family" has a higher possibility to become bullies themselves. Some girls who experience being bullied and be the bully is more likely to be engaged in a group that is performing relational bullying because they believe that it will save them from being bullied.

                                                                                                                                                                

While girls sometimes engage in physical aggression, they're more likely to engage in relational aggression, a form of psychological bullying that can quickly destroy self-esteem," says Rachel Simmons

What is Relational Aggression? Its a form of bullying that damage the relationship of the victim to other people. For example to her classmates, from the student of their school, to her friends and to her boyfriends.

Other girls may ruin the social status of their victims  by creating stories in the internet that will insult their victim, humiliate, they will try to lower the self-esteem of their victim. They might also make fun of their victim by whispering insults, calling names and threatened their victim by sending e-mail saying "go to hell, no one likes you, why don't you just die already". Rachel Simmon said "that a majority of teenage girls report at least one instance of relational bullying. Because this form of bullying doesn't leave visible wounds, it often goes undetected"

Van Thompson stated that "Any girl can be a victim of bullying". And being different can increase the possibility of being bullied. For example, you're more sexually attractive, wearing different clothes, your family income, and if you just transferred to a new school. A person who has just entered puberty much later and students with disability are more likely to be bullied too.

In my conclusion when it comes to girls and boys, indirect or direct bullying. Any of these forms can really harm and destroy the lives of its victim. But i am convinced that bullying that most girls perform are the one that is more frightening because there is a high chance that it will succeed and the probability of it being detected is almost impossible. It's hard to believe, but its the truth that the woman who we expect to be soft, beautiful, tender, nice and kind  can become an entirely inhuman, savage, violent, dangerous kind of beast when engage to bullying.